the reality of the situation

alright it's time to get serious. i make a new blog every two years and then i go to a new one. i intend on keeping this one forever. i may say things i regret but its going to be my day to day life. well with a few flash backs. I've been through shit, but now i look at it... it gives me a time to do what i really need to be doing... taking care of myself and being around people. its funny as i type this I'm getting shit faced drunk and i just came from a bible study. I'm going through counsel and it's really helping. Ive got four months to become a mature responsible adult. i may or may not have a kid on the way. but that's not going to stop me from doing what i need to do. Ive got to decide to stop throwing a pity party for myself and just say fuck it i don't care what anyone says I'm going to do something and if people follow me great and if they don't that's fine by me too. yet it really hurts sometimes when you feel like an island. i alienated every one i knew for 11 months all because of a bitch ass immature girl. i don't want to preach to you or give you churchy type of answers cause i really have no answers myself. i know all the fucking lingo that is used in the church family and its just become a slang to me that even i fail to understand anymore. ill make it a priority to write in here at least once a week if not more. but the least i will go with out writing in here is a week and a half. now if i don't do that i want you to kick me hard. i figured i should probably delete all my other accounts cause it was at times meaningless bull that really didnt mean a damn thing. well good night and happy blogging to you too.